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Nova Scotia Classifieds, from Amherst to Halifax to Truro to Sydney and everywhere in between
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| Funnies Post your jokes, amazing discoveries or crazy stories people |
12-07-2007, 08:49 PM
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#1
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Sober Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Salmon River
Posts: 28
vCash: 1000
Rep Power: 2 
Rating:(0% Positive)
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Letter To Santa
Dear Santa,
You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of December. Well,
I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the
beginning of the month. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair
of roller blades and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the
whole year, not only was I the first in my class but I had the best grades in
the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you Santa, there were no kid in the
neighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers,
my friends and with my neighbors, I would go on errands and even help the
elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for
humanity!
What balls you have leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a lame ass whistle and a pair
of socks! What the fuck were you thinking, you fat son of a bitch, that you'd
taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to come out with some shit like
this under the damn tree.
As if you hadn't fucked me enough, you gave that little shithead across the
street so many fucking toys, that he can't even walk into his damn house!
Please don't let me see you trying to fit your huge ass down my chimney next
year! I'll fuck you up! I'll throw rocks at those corny ass reindeers of
yours and scare them the fuck away, so you'll have to walk your big fat ass
back to the north pole, just like I have to do since you didn't get me that
fucking bike, you punk bastard!! You know what Santa, Fuck You!! Next year
you'll find out how bad I can really fucking be!
So watch your back next year, Beeyaaaaatch!!!!
Sincerely,
Johnny
Now.. there is a letter back to Johnny from Santa, however.. it's quite rude. So if ppl aren't opposed to me posting it, let me know and I will!
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12-07-2007, 10:02 PM
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#2
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Tipsy Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: halifax
Posts: 91
vCash: 300
Rep Power: 0 
Rating:(100% Positive)
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post it
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12-07-2007, 10:08 PM
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#3
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Tipsy Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Halifax
Posts: 273
vCash: 1000
Rep Power: 2 
Rating:(100% Positive)
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yes do!
__________________
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12-07-2007, 11:57 PM
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#4
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Sloshed Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Hockeyville, Nova Scotia
Age: 30
Posts: 571
vCash: 1000
Rep Power: 3 
Rating:(100% Positive)
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Oh you gotta post it...LOL!!!
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12-09-2007, 09:25 AM
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#5
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Sober Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Salmon River
Posts: 28
vCash: 1000
Rep Power: 2 
Rating:(0% Positive)
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Ok, you asked for it...
Dear Johnny,
I know WHO you are, and I KNOW where you live. You little shit!
You can't talk to SANTA like that and get away with it!
If you don't like the yo-yo, which is a classic toy, by the way,
then you can just cram it up your little *$$! As for the whistle
you didn't care for -- I gotcha whistle right here!!! Come blow
on this! And the socks...well, I figured you are big enough to
be whacking off, and those sox would have come in handy and been
handy to ... well, even you should get the picture!
And... that little "faggot" across the street, you'll be happy to
know that he's already got pubic hair and his wang is TWICE as
long as yours. Besides, his parents think YOU're the fag --always
moanin' and whinin'.
Don't worry about gathering up rocks for my visit to your house
next year, 'cause I ain't coming down your chimbly ever again.
If you find any pennies this year, you had better stop and pick
them up, 'cause that's about all you're going to get for Christmas.
Your mom and dad are doing to be killed in a car crash, and you'll
be stuck in an orphanage before Thanksgiving.
Bad? You want BAD? I'll show you who's bad!
Affectionally, Adieu,
Santa
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12-09-2007, 12:35 PM
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#6
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Sloshed Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Hockeyville, Nova Scotia
Age: 30
Posts: 571
vCash: 1000
Rep Power: 3 
Rating:(100% Positive)
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